fourteen truths I learned from cancer

A few days ago a friend of mine relapsed with colon cancer.  I do not know the details of the situation or his prognosis from the oncologist, yet.  My heart aches for him and his family as I know they are searching for answers and peace.

Hearing about my friend and his relapse has caused some reflection on my own experiences with cancer, my search for answers and finding peace.  The following are things I learned along the way with being a cancer warrior myself.

1. I discovered joy, happiness and self worth.
2. I rocked a bald head proudly and refused to wear hats and scarves (unless it was windy or cold outside).
3. It taught me to live in the present moment.
4. Stop avoiding emotional pain, because when I avoid I create physical disease.
5. It saved my life.
6. It was not a "trial," it was an opportunity to let God heal my heart.
7. It is one of my greatest blessings.
8. I learned to receive the love God has for me.
9. I learned to receive the love that friends, family, doctors, nurses and complete strangers have for me.
10. I learned that as I receive love, my heart expands and I give love more sincerely and authentically.
11. I had a second chance at life (2x).
12. Sometimes healing looks differently then I expect. 
13. Just because someone transitions and passes on into the next life doesn't mean they didn't receive the healing they needed or deserve.
14. If I had a chance to rewrite my life's journey with cancer, I wouldn't change it because of the lessons learned and blessings received from the experience.

Once again, I choose to embrace my cancer journey with gratitude.  I am continually learning that healing is a choice every day of my life and a journey back to God.

Friends, I invite each of you to take a look at what you and others might look at as a struggle, trial or crisis and find the blessings and truth in your own life and experiences.

My sister, Rebekah and me right before I shaved my head.  I honestly did not know how thin my hair was or how sickly I looked until after I shaved it.

Two of my best friends Jill, Rhianna and me right after shaving my head for the first time.  Jill offered to shave it for me and did a fabulous clean smooth job.  This night I learned a lot about the fixed beliefs we have about hair.  Well, I have never felt more beautiful or radiant then I did that night.   This is the night I decided to rock the baldness.

Namaste

bring it 30!

Last year for my 29th birthday there were a few things I wanted to do before turning 30. You can read that post here.  How did I do?

• I graduated from massage school and I am now a licensed massage therapist.
• I gained 7 lbs (13 lbs to go).
• I wrote on my blog averaging 2.66666 per month.
• I did not go skiing or snowboarding, but still want to do that sometime in this lifetime.
• I was asked to be on the board of directors for a non-profit organization.
• I love serving and being part of my community this past year.  I am committed to continue doing so this next year and for the rest of my life.
• I didn't finish my quilt.  Maybe I'll complete it 2014.
• I did a lot of yoga and meditation, but no retreat. 
• I love sharing my experiences and things I am learning about nutrition with others, but did not teach an "official" nutrition class.

29 has been a fabulous year and 30 is going to be even better.  The things I would like to do, accomplish and be part of this coming year is:

• Start my own massage business.
• Continue my massage education in Thai Yoga and eastern modalities.
• Begin my formal education with herbology, Ayurveda and nutrition.
• Finish my quilt. 
• Gain 13 lbs.
• Continue to write on my blog twice a month.
• Have a daily practice of meditation. 
• Have a yoga practice 3-4x a week.
• Take horseback riding lessons (*hint, hint, cough, cough Kami, West, Rhianna and Jill).
• Serve in my community; volunteer and staff at Impact Training for Quest and Summit trainings 2x each.
• Go on spontaneous adventures once a month.

Yes 30 is going to be a wonderful and exciting year.

Namaste

my balance and what works for me

Written by Kilene McFadden

I am grateful that I am able to lead a healthy life.  I have learned through trial and error what works for my healthy development and what has not.

I was diagnosed with depression and Obssesive Compulsive Disorder when I was thirteen years old.  My doctors put me on Zoloft and I took it without question until twenty-six years of age.  I know that it numbed my issues.  I also had what was always assumed to be Psoriasis, an uncomfortable dry, itchy and flaky skin disease.

When I was twenty-six, I was seeing a counselor, who suggested I see a Naturopathic physician.  I had never been to a natural doctor before and went without hesitation.  What a gigantic fundamental step to a healthy progression for me!!!  He did some blood work and found my thyroid was not functioning properly.  Before college I was a fairly petite girl and during college I put on some freshman weight, and more.  After finding out that I had hypothyroidism, it became very clear as to why I was having depressive symptoms and a challenging time losing weight.  I was frequently at the gym and watching my diet.   My wonderful doctor prescribed me Naturthyroid.  Within two weeks of taking it I lost ten pounds.

Last year I found out that I am allergic to wheat and dairy.  This change in my eating habits has blessed me so much!  I feel an increased vitality and my emotional state has truly changed for the better.  I continue to exercise to keep my mind and body rejuvenated and strong.  I deserve the balance and energy so I can take care of my two beautiful children.

What I have learned about nutrition and well being has come over many years of experimentation.  I work hard to eat clean, exercise daily, drink adequate amounts of water and get enough sleep.  I am not perfect and will always be a work in progress.  Just this year I have changed more physically and emotionally then I have before because I make an effort everyday and then make adjustments as I see fit.  This has made a difference in my confidence and my desire to be a happier and healthier me!

Namaste
Kilene


About Kilene:
Kilene was born 1979, in Texas.  The majority of her life she was raised in North Dakota.  She was privileged to live in Belgium for four years as a little girl.  She feels so blessed and happy to share some of the lessons she learned over the years.

She is married to an incredible man and together they have to gorgeous little blessings.  She is mostly a busy mom.  In her free time she does massage, works as a health coach for Beach Body and makes the most out of each day.

the God letter

My dear Child,

What you choose to experience in your heart will be reflected in your life.  If you choose to be insecure about your physical body, weight, appearance or personality you will experience being jealous, judging, or comparing yourself to others.  Know this, that is your own experience and it doesn't mean it's right.  It doesn't mean it's wrong.  It is what it is.  It's not truth.  It's only an experience of your choosing.

The truth is, you are my child.  You are an infinite divine child of God.  There is no expectation of what you must be or what you must do to be good enough for me or be good enough for yourself.  I created you and I only create perfection. You are enough.  You are whole.  You are complete.  

You are a free agent to choose what you create and reflect in this world.  I am here supporting and loving you on this journey of discovery and creation.  Remember, I do not hate, judge or discriminate any of my children (including you!). 

Until next time,

God

Namaste

sympathy? not so much!

Dearest friend,

Your husband was diagnosed with acute leukemia this week and I almost offered you my sympathy. I almost said the words to you that I hated hearing myself: "I'm sorry" or "that's horrible" or "that's tough" etc.  I didn't because I remembered my own journey with cancer.

I discovered within myself courage; that life is beautiful in every moment; trust in my Creator; trust in myself; my spiritual strength; I can do hard things; spiritual healing is a choice; by opening my heart to loving myself and receiving God's love for me I am healed.  This was and still is my experience with cancer.

You are on your own journey.  I will walk beside you and love you, but you are the one that has to walk it.  In your darkest moments remember "Peace be still and know that I am God."  I am excited for you and Houston and to see what you create.

Love always,

The 2x Cancer Warrior

Namaste