Wednesday, November 21, 2012

crisis or opportunity

It's Christmas Day 2011.  I've had a bad chest cold for weeks and a stubborn cough that refuses to go away.  Finally, about 11pm my roommate, Renee, tells me she's taking me to the Emergency Room because I cannot breathe.

Walking into the ER, the nurse (or whoever it was) asks me why I am there.  On top of not being able to breathe, I immediately start crying and cannot speak because of all my emotional buildup.  The nurse (or whoever it was) asks for my insurance card and has me put my Social Security # in a calculator.  I take a seat in the waiting area with Naenae.  Within 10-15 minutes they call me back, usher me into a very non-private room and begin questioning about my symptoms and medical/health history.  The ER doctor decides to do some blood work and a CT scan.  Somewhere between 2-3am the doctor informs me that I have a tumor in the Mediastinum Space of my chest.

I've just  been re-diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, cancer of the lymphatic system.  The nurse was compassionate (doctor was too) and reminded me that I only have to take one day at a time and right hour at a time.

For many individuals this could be terrifying and the worst news ever.  At first, I didn't know what to think or what was going to happen (two years previously I was orginally diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma and went through chemotherapy).  I only knew that my physical body was very sick (I often forget how sick I really was at the time).  I hope I have not bored you with these details.  I share them because I feel a little information about my circumstances might assist in giving clarity of why I share the lessons I have and continue to learn from this past year.  That being re-diagnosed with cancer is one of my greatest blessings.

I have heard that there is a Chinese character that translates to crisis.  That same Chinese character also translates to opportunity.  I ask myself is this a crisis or an opportunity?  I say opportunity and what an opportunity it has been and will continue to be if I choose and create it.


NOTE: I have left many details out for my own personal reasons.  As I continue writing my blog, the story will unfold itself.  Just appreciate the randomness of it all.

I have so much gratitude for Renee, Jilian, Danielle, and many friends in San Diego who handled the majority of the mechanics so that I could go back to Utah.  Thank you for your love, support and everything you have done.

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